The Werewolf

Carefully, slowly, I took a step into that coffee shop down the road from my apartment. The one with the nice barista who always smiles at me and where the coffee bean scented chemicals are periodically sprayed into the air. I was there to meet my friend and colleague Sarah. She was waiting for me at the booth by the window that we always sit at whenever we come here for coffee, which was not often as she preferred the place further up town with the smaller interior and the more angry looking man at the counter. I sat down in the seat opposite hers and she looked at me with confusion. I had called her here rather suddenly, and I had no real excuse for her. I felt bad about it, but I had something that I really needed to say.

"I think," I said, after taking a deep long breath to center myself before making my absurd confession, "I think I might be a werewolf."

"Yeah, that tracks," she said casually and stirred sugar into her coffee.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked.

"Just that it would explain a lot about you."

"Like what?"

"I dunno. Lots of things. Like how you really like meat and stuff."

"I don't think liking meat is that unusual."

"Well, why do you think you're a werewolf?"

"Last night was a full moon, right? Well I had all these horrible dreams while I was sleeping. Dreams about being a wolf. And when I woke up I had an intense feeling that I had done something awful."

"That's very serious."

"I know."

"You need to start preparing for the next full moon or you're going to hurt somebody else."

"I know."

#

"Tell me about these dreams," toned the voice of my therapist through phone static. Crappy connection, crappy speakers.

Back in my apartment. I'd wanted to meet her in person but she said she was busy and I didn't want to press the issue.

"Okay. There were a lot and they were all scary, but I only remember two. One of them had my father in it. I don't remember him too well so I can't say what he looked like but I knew it was him somehow. He hugged me and I hated it. That's all. The other dream was about my sister. I stole her medication and tried to swallow all the pills because she had hurt my feelings somehow, but they got stuck in my throat. I tried to get some water from the sink to wash them down but the sink was broken and wouldn't run. When she found me choking she asked why I had done this. I tried to explain it to her but I couldn't because I was choking. I don't remember what I was going to say."

"That's all very concerning. As your therapist I strongly advise that you take steps to prevent yourself from doing harm to yourself and others before the full moon, or else I may be forced to intervene."

"Gosh, is it that serious?"

"It's extremely serious, and I'd like you to take it seriously."

"What do you suggest?"

"Maybe try sleeping in a dog kennel so you can't escape."

#

I went to the pet store to buy a dog kennel. It was hard to find one big enough for me to sleep in.

As I was walking down the aisles, a woman's dog began barking and pulling against her leash to lunge at me. She tried very hard to keep it at bay but it was very excited and kept pulling and barking. It caused such a scene that soon everyone in the store was looking at us. The woman scowled at me and I tried to apologize but I don't think she could hear me over the dog's intense barking. I quietly ducked out of the aisle.

The dog was still barking loudly as I came up to the counter with the large box. The cashier asked me if I had a dog.

"No. It's for myself. I think I'm a werewolf."

Instantly, the cashier's demeanor turned more guarded and tense. I felt bad for ruining his good mood.

"If you want to keep people safe, you're gonna need something stronger than this. I can recommend a brand you can order online. In the meantime, we have some handcuffs in aisle 4 you can buy, just in case."

"Thank you," I said, and I went to get the handcuffs in aisle 4.

#

A ring at my doorbell when the package arrived. I had to sign for it. The deliverer watched me suspiciously. The cage was made of stronger material than anything you'd find at the pet store, and it was so expensive that I wasn't sure how I was going to make rent this month. It's understood that you'd only be buying it to trap a human.

"It's not what it looks like," I said. "I'm a werewolf. I need something to keep people safe."

The man's eyes widened, and he snatched the clipboard from me when I was done signing and ran down the hallway.

I glanced down after him and saw a neighbor's door shut hastily. I quietly closed the door, embarrassed.

#

It'd been a week since my dreams, and now people around the neighborhood had started staring at me as I walked down the street. I saw mothers hustle their children around corners and out of sight as I approached, people watching me closely as they spoke to someone on the phone, men squaring up and watching me pass as though expecting me to try something. I made my way down the street at a brisk pace.

I was on my way to have dinner with my mother for her birthday. She had picked a restaurant far outside of my comfortable price range. This stung doubly hard since I was still figuring out how I was gonna pay for the cage and for rent this month, but I would never let that get in the way for her happiness.

After we'd been seated at a fine candlelit wood table, she asked me how my life was going and of course I had to tell her the truth of what I had become.

"That makes a lot of sense," she said. "You always did eat lots of meat."

"I really don't think I ate that much more meat than anyone else, Mom. I'm worried. I don't know what's going to happen to me when the full moon comes."

"Well, you'll have to figure something out. I'll be very disappointed in you if I find out you hurt anyone."

"I don't want to hurt anyone. I've always tried so hard not to cause trouble. I don't know why I had to become a werewolf now. It all feels so unfair."

"Honestly, enough with the whining. It's not always about you, you know. Think of how the people in your neighborhood must feel, knowing they live so close to such a dangerous person."

"How do you know they know?"

"Word gets around."

"Oh no." I put my head in my hands at the table as the waiter came to take our order. Mom ordered for herself and I refused to get anything. This meal was gonna be expensive enough as is. When the food arrived, I was still buried in my hands.

"This self pity is unbecoming, you know," she said. "Why can't you be more like your sister. She really knows how to take charge of her life."

"Yes. I know."

#

By the time I went shopping for groceries, I was used to the stares and the hushed hostility from others, but it was still almost more than I could handle when I walked into the store and saw everyone inside turn to look at me at once. My supplies were pretty meager as well, as I still didn’t have a lot of money after the expenses I'd already paid because of all this. I could barely afford more than a bag of rice and some salt. As I rung up the items at the checkout counter, a child saw me and began to cry. The mother pulled him hastily away as his shrieks echoed through the store, and hid in one of the aisles and watched me, waiting for me to leave.

Outside the streets were busy, yet I was able to walk unimpeded. I was given a wide birth by the other pedestrians, some even running out into the streets to avoid me. Cars honked as they passed me, and dogs barked and cats yowled.

And up above the moon shined dangerously. Half-moon today. Soon. As I crossed a dark empty park, I was arrested by the weak milk-light and couldn't help but stare into the half-closed eye that fought to wake itself, knowing that when it did, it would come for me in the night like a wild animal, and tear me to pieces.

The door to my apartment building was propped open. When I ascended the stairs to my hallway, two men were standing outside my door, plainly dressed, wearing sunglasses and baseball caps so that I couldn't get a clear look at their faces, snapping a picture of the number with their phones. They turned and scowled as I approached. They closed their phones and shoved past me hard out of the hallway.

Timidly, I unlocked my door and walked into my apartment. It was dark save for the moonlight streaming in through the window.

#

"I just don't know what to do. I'm very scared."

The next day I decided to talk to Sarah again, just to see a familiar face. Today she wanted to meet at her preferred coffee house, which was further away and had the barista who hated me. He threatened to throw me out the second I walked in until Sarah showed up and assured him I would cause no trouble.

"Well, your neighbors are scared too. Try to think about this from their perspective. It's not always about you."

"But why were they at my home? How did they even know where I lived?"

"They might've heard it from me. Some men came to my place asking about you."

"And you told them where I live?"

"Yeah."

"How could you do that?"

"They asked. What was I supposed to do? Lie to them? You're not being reasonable."

"They could kill me."

"They're just trying to keep their community safe. Again, it's not always about you."

"I know it's not about me, but I still don't like people showing up to my home and threatening me."

"Well, think of it like this. If you get yourself under control, they won't have any reason to come after you."

"I'm trying."

#

The next day I got the call that I'd been fired from my job. Before I could plead my case, the power to my apartment was shut off. The full moon was tomorrow.

The following day I ventured out of my dark apartment to beg my former place of work for the final paycheck they owed me. The full moon was tonight and the hints of hostility that I had sensed had grown into full, naked terror. The streets emptied as I walked, and I saw several people run screaming into whatever open buildings were nearby, sometimes trying several doors before finding one that had not yet been locked against my approach. When I found the office supply store at which I had until recently been an employee, the cashier nearly bolted out of the building upon seeing me. I asked as calmly as I could for him to go tell the manager I was here, and he ran to the back of the store. Moments later the manager stepped out cautiously. Her demeanor was one of a practiced, urgent calmness, as if calling on the same part of her that was trained to handle a robbery or hostage situation. I asked her for my paycheck. Not wanting to leave me alone in the store long enough to get her checkbook, she simply opened a nearby register and grabbed the specified amount of money in bills. She thrust them into my hands and shouted at me to get out immediately, and I obliged, happy to be done with the ordeal. All I wanted now was to get back to my apartment and ride out the coming night in solitude.

The streets were now abandoned as I made my way home. Despite the fact that it was still broad daylight, apparently the entire city decided that they weren't going to take any chances with me. Part of me enjoyed the quiet, but I knew better than to be thankful for it, for tonight, the werewolf would come, and it would be my job to secure it. I approached the door of my apartment to find that the locks had been changed, and a notice had been pinned to the door alerting me of my eviction after failing to pay my rent on time. In a panic, I pounded and kicked the door, at a loss for anything else to do. I couldn't get to the metal cage or the handcuffs I had spent so much money to acquire and now I was at the mercy of the open elements.

I pulled out my phone and called my landlord. When he answered, I said, "Gray, I'm so sorry about the rent. I have the money now. Can you please come over and let me inside. I have to get in. It's an emergency."
He said, "you have some nerve calling me like this. Who the fuck do you think you are?"

"I'm sorry. Please. I just need to get into my apartment. Please, it's an emergency. I need to get to my cage before nightfall or else people are gonna get hurt."

"I don't respond to threats, you sanctimonious cow."

"It's not a threat. Please just come over. I need your help."

"You are the worst person I've ever met, do you know that."

"I'm sorry."

"You've always been a fucking loser. Ever since you were a kid. You fail at everything you do. You've never amounted to anything. And now you've become a danger to everyone in your life. I'm so fucking disappointed in you."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Shut up. Shut the fuck up."

I gibbered out more apologies through a growing lump in my throat. Through wet eyes I could see the sun threatening to set.

"Please," I said.

The elevator down the hall opened. It was those men from before. They had weapons. One held an aluminum baseball bat and the other had a hunting rifle. They made eye contact with me as my landlord continued to berate me over the phone.

"I-I have to go," I tried to say over his shouting, and I hung up, feeling a wave of guilt for interrupting his tirade.

I dashed to the window down the hall as the men in the elevator sprinted towards me. I barely got it open and climbed out to the fire escape outside when they reached the end of the hallway. I rushed down the metal steps and sprinted down the alley into the streets.

Gunfire rang behind me. Three shots. I felt something whiz past my head and ahead of me a section of asphalt exploded into dust. I sprinted down an alley way and across the street. I hid in the sunset shadow of those buildings and watched as throngs of angry people filled the streets. They carried torches and improvised blunt weapons. Many had guns. Pistols. Shotguns. Rifles. Locked and loaded and ready to shoot me on sight. The streets filled with the sounds of angry shouting that bordered on deranged babbling. My presence in their lives had become intolerable and the only way to restore the peace was with my death.

I ran to a chain link fence that led into an open field overgrown with tall grass and wild shrubs and trees with full, unkempt branches. I climbed it carefully, but tripped on my way down the other side and fell hard onto the grass.

Twilight descended slowly and only the heavy clouds kept the moon at bay. But I could see it, its pale glow shining through the clouds. I hid myself among those rough grown bushes, nestled safely in the cold wet dark. Soon the darkness was interrupted by the orange flickering of torchlight. It seemed the mob had guessed I would hide myself in this field. They came flooding in from the streets and spread out to search for me. Above, the clouds passed, blown along by the hasty storm wind. I took out my phone again and with hands shaking from terror and cold, I dialed my sister’s number. I struggled to press the phone against my ear with my trembling hands, hearing the tone drag a little too long as it struggled to connect, but eventually I heard her voice, soft and kind.

She said, "Hello?"

I said, "Hello. It’s me. I’m sorry to call you like this, but I think I’m about to be killed, and I’m very scared."

"You’ve always been so scared. I’ve never understood it. What it’s like to live in fear the way you do."

"It’s not easy," I said, and laughed weakly.

"I’m sorry. But you do know that you deserve this right?"

My smile fell. "Yes. I know."

"You can’t keep running forever. Aren’t you tired?"

"Yes. I’m very tired."

"There’s no shame in giving up."

"Yes. You’re right."

"You deserve this," she repeated, her voice as gentle as ever. "You’ve always deserved this, and on some level, I think you always knew it would end this way."

"Yes. Of course."

"So please stop running. We’re all tired. We all just want to get back to our lives. Please stop keeping us here like this."

Footsteps approached the bush I was hiding in. Someone squatted and lifted the branch covering me. Terror and disgust in his eyes.

He said, "Come on out. It’s over."

I said, "Yes. It’s time for me to go. I’m sorry."

"You’re doing the right thing," my sister said, and she hung up.

I crawled from my place under the bushes. Quickly I was surrounded by the crowd, and bore the angry panicked shouts and threats of the people whom I had terrorized.

"I have always tried to do right by you," I said. "I have always tried to stay out of trouble and be a good neighbor and citizen. It was never my desire to be dangerous, and I got no joy out of it. If you wish to kill me now, I hope that will bring you peace. But please don't remember me as a monster, if indeed you should remember me at all. I wanted to be your friend. I'm sorry."

The crack of gunfire, and the hordes were upon me. The clouds parted to reveal the full moon, shining its pale light down on the bloody scene that followed. Beautiful and radiant upon the grass, mingling with the torch light, dancing on the mad, savage faces of my neighbors, and mocking my mangled body with its gloating stare.

 

END